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Tag: books

Let’s talk about sex, baby

Posted on March 14, 2019

Let’s talk about sex, baby

Such Nonsense Do you remember when you learnt about sex? I … Continue reading “Let’s talk about sex, baby”

Sexuality books, education, motherhood, parenting, sexualityPosted on March 14, 2019

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On my way to a meeting this morning, after school drop off and a music class and rushing and haggling for clothes to be worn and layers to be accepted... I texted my husband: “sex tonight?”
.
I was feeling frisky. And in the mood.
And of course thinking about it all day was pretty exciting.
Yup, planned sex is exciting and enticing and something to look forward to.
.
Sex at night? Is it possible? Well... yes and no.
Bedtime with three tiny humans is always a shitshow. Actually 4:30-7:30 pm every day is a shitshow because it is.
Sometimes they’ll surprise us and go to sleep quickly and quietly. Sometimes, often, they won’t.
It’s one calling for a last hug, another one is certain that the ouchie in their finger is so painful it is impossible to concentrate in sleep.
.
Tonight was no different, although we really wanted to get seduced by each other. So the sense of urgency was there not out of exhaustion but out of excitement.
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Yes. We have sex after kids are in bed, before walking the dog and cleaning up. If we wait until all the things that need to get done are done... exhaustion. And who has the energy?
.
So tonight between caresses and kisses, trying sexy lingerie... we were Intereupted for a last hug, for a kiss, for a tuck in.
I rushed to them putting a shirt on, I rushed to them in my underwear... (my arousal less noticeable than my husband’s hard-on).
.
It killed the mood but we didn’t let it. I sat on his face and had to rush to sing a lullaby. I came back and repositioned myself with a giggle... like we were being naughty in this parenting of ours.
.
because this is life right now. The absolute time and concentration to seduce each other is a huge commodity so we need to take it in stride and laugh and be in the best way we can...
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Have you texted your partner today that you want to get seduced?
.
#realmomlife #realmomlifemoments #marriedsexlife #marriedsex #sexytimes #eroticexpert #awokenbeauty #vidademama #qualitytimetogether

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Five years ago today I woke up and found myself a married woman.
It was bizarre.
It was also wonderful.
But so bizarre.
.
You see, I grew up with the notion that marriage was the All. The Everything.
It didn’t matter what my achievements were as an individual, If I was single, they were kind of worthless.
.
A year ago an aunt I truly loved sent me an email for my birthday saying “you finally made it! It took you a bit but you made it!” She was referring to my marital status as well as me being able to procreate so quickly and so notoriously.
Marriage was the end all. Marriage was the goal to achieve. Marriage was where I needed to go to. (No one ever spoke of what kind of relationship you should have or what kind of person your partner should be. No. Not relevant. Just the marriage part.)
.
By the way this aunt is one of the smartest people I know and has a PhD.
But marriage. .

Five years ago I woke up having to redefine it all.
I didn’t get married because I had to. I didn’t get married to elevate my status of worth little to worth something because I had a man by my side.
I didn’t get married to have children.
I didnt get married for health care.
I got married because I wanted to.
.
5 years ago I woke up after an incredible party and high quality sex and I was grateful to be waking up next to the man that sees me for who I am and sees beyond that to push me to be better.
The man who holds me and fills my water bottle every night, the man who goes to the kids in the morning so I get a bit of extra sleep, the one who believes in me even when I doubt. The man who has made me feel things in bed I can barely describe, and who makes me laugh like no one has. The man who cries and makes me feel like it’s ok to break too. .
Marriage was a choice for us, a choice I gratefully had. And one we chose to redefine for ourselves.
Happy anniversary my love @ajswartz may we continue surprising each other with our adventures and life.
I love you more today than I did yesterday.

Photo by @elliana_allon .
#foolsrushin #happyanniversary #lovetruth #ponderings #awokenbeauty #thisismylove

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I am so tired.
It’s been a long day, as always. A very long weekend.
I am tired.
And I am so content.
I am happy.
I was at the park today and there was nothing else I would have rather been doing than pushing two swings.
I am happy.
I am so filled.
Today there was nothing I would have rather been doing than cleaning up after meals and making more meals.
Today I danced with all my children.
Last night I danced with my love.
.
I am happy.
Today we played and had our constant chaos photographed by @elliana_allon without a hint of judgement over the absolute tornado that is life.
Her lens sits in front of an adoring eye that admires beauty.
And I am.
We are.
.
Today I am happy. There was uninterrupted sleep. I am in a warm bed and soon my love will enter it and hug me as we cuddle and each read our own books.
I am happy, my babies are sleeping warm and safe.
.
Today my post partum body looks so sensual and sexy I wish I wasn’t so tired to jump my husband. (We shall see...)
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Today I am happy. Tomorrow I hope I will be too, but for now, I am content with the happiness, tranquility and calm I feel within me.
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Life ebbs and flows, today I am filled with gratitude.
.
#justmylife #momponderings #feelinggratitude #sensualme #happinessis

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Roundness in the year many wish each other, and sweetness.
A sweet and happy year are the wishes that abound.
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I wish you too for the roundness that is, the roundness of the full belly with food and laughter.
The roundness of the mouth when it is trying to grasp with sound the complete and utter pleasure that a body can produce.
The roundness of a life that is hectic and has so much it almost bursts at the seams, but in a way, is balanced to utter perfection.
.
I wish you too for the snail in your life.
To have the ability, this year, and all those to come, of getting where you are aiming towards. Slow, or fast, or whatever velocity of the shell you are carrying along dictates.
I wish you the patience of the snail to find the pleasure that resides within you.
I wish you to find snails and have the time and space to look at them and it’s wonder and awe.
I wish you pause to be, to stare, to breathe. .
And, of course, I wish for all of you lots of pleasure, much sweetness and a happy and joyful year.
#shanatovaumetuka #shanatova #felizano #newbegginings #balancedlife

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It’s been a long fucking day.
No, it’s been a long fucking weekend.
No.
Everyday is long.
And wonderful.
And so hard.
And sometimes I explode in absolute joy at the incredible life I have, the most intricate and delightful happiness is mine.
And sometimes I want to run away, far far away. I think of the life that was. Before love. Before babies. Before us. And I yearn for it as only someone who knows how incredibly lonely and lonesome it was can yearn for something that also had its goodness.
It’s been a long fucking day.
I’m tired.
I’m always tired.
.
It’s been a long day and this is the first time I see me.
This is the first time I really think me.
Because it’s been everything and everyone else. The needs and the desires, the survival and the meltdown. The food, the entertainment and, sometimes, the parenting. The life and the job and the to-do and the money.
Everything swallows.
And then there’s me.
I wash my face and apply creams. Slowly. So slowly. Because in the touch, in the intimate gaze I finally allow myself to have on myself, I See Me.

And damn, I’m beautiful.
#justlife #ponderings #ponderingsandsuch #pastpresentfuture #takingsmoment #breatheinbreatheout #motherhoodrising #motherhoodforreal #almost38

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Sometimes all I can see is that little window with what seems to be a wonderful place to be.
.
Sometimes I feel so stuck I have no idea how to get out of the situation (s) I’ve gotten myself into.
Or the place.
Or the people.
Or the life. .
It’s cozy in here, and so uncomfortable.
.
And then the little boy that is my dragon comes back and with the utmost concentration sets some dirt on my thigh and tells me it’s my seatbelt.
And the faraway land looks as enticing.
But right now I’m sitting in a plane he has declared.
.
.
#motherhoodunplugged #motheringdragons #mommylife #lamaternidadysuscosas #thingsisee #alliam #ponderings #ponderinglady

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This is unapologetically me.
Doing stuff I never expected to do. Letting go of the notions I have of myself.
Becoming my children’s canvas.
Don’t we all become our child’s canvas ? (Unless we attempt to impose our created child on them...)
.
I am my own creation and I recreate myself every day.
My children re-create me, according to their needs.
.
My Erotic Self recreates me; I paint upon the canvas layed out by my needs and wants, by my exhaustion and my lack of patience, by the time that evaporates from existence by the blink of 3 pairs of eyes.
.
I recreate my desire on the canvas that is my current reality. It looks different than it was years ago, it is different than what it will be in a few years.
My desires are created and recreated, they flow and transform in eternal metamorphosis for they are alive.
.
#eroticponderings #unapologeticmama #makingart #bodyartwork #bodyart #fleetingmoments #fleeingboredom #motherhoodrising #myrealmotherhood #realsexlife #sexafterkids #eroticself

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This. Was. Fucking. Hard.
I’d been wanting to try out silks for years but baby making and silks don’t go so great together.
And today it happened, at basically 10 months #postpartum, I did it.
And it was so hard.
My very strong core is mush.
My once upon a time strong arms could barely hold me for a few seconds.
But I did it. I went up and upside down and swung and was not graceful at all at any point, but I had so much fun!
.
In a way it’s a metaphor of my life right now.
Once upon a time I would have had the time and strength to perfect this. I would have expected nothing less from my athletic body.
Right now I am (almost always, except sometimes) accepting of all the strength I lost. And all I have to regain, slowly, slowly...
Life is that right now, so fast paced there is barely time to breathe, so damn slow I have no patience for this absence of rational time...
And so damn hard.
.
So here I am, smiling, smiling broadly and so happy.
I am totally unaware of how achy I will be tomorrow, and I am ecstatic with this new adventure.
.
. What new adventures are in your horizon right now?
.
#postpartumjourney #postpartumfitnessjourney
#stronginsideandoutside #patienceismymantra #motherhoodrising #motherhoodunplugged #silks #playingwithsilks #circusplay

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It’s true. Our bodies are designed for pleasure. And yet... Whenever we hear whispers of the word pleasure, dirty stigmas come rushing straight into our heads because whatever the conversation about feeling good is going about, it just be bad, no? Obviously.
.
We are taught that something that feels really really good is bad for us, like an ice cream, or chocolate, or a mind blowing orgasm. Sigh.
Feeling pleasure, especially as women, is seen as something broken, as something bizarre and unwanted.
And yet...
When we are exposed to mainstream porn, the women actresses are directed to act their pleasure, to wail and to moan and to yell. The pleasure itself is non relevant, the acting is.
.
I encounter too many women who assume they need to act the pleasure even though they don’t feel it.
They never knew they are able and should demand it.
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Pleasure also comes in different forms. That is part of the Erotic Self. The part that is able and willing to feel pleasure at many levels.
.
So much more to say...
.
Do you feel guilty by feeling pleasure?
Do you embrace and celebrate your pleasure. .
#sexeducation #feminism #feministsex #feelingpleasure #realsextalk #healthysexuality #sexlifebelike #sexualjourney #noguiltpleasure

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Hi,
I’ve been absent from posting on my feed and even stories for a while.
Truth is I’ve been overwhelmed. Life got to be much, way too much for a while; I felt I had no space or air to breathe, even less any time.
My perfectionist state of pressure was getting to me, I was trying to do so much while also juggling life, three children under 4, post partum, and so much more on my plate.
Everything became a misery.
I didn’t know what to do, dividing my time, overly multitasking. Never really spending my full attention on a task or a person.
I had to stop. Not just observe or take it slower, but fully pause, take a break and recharge.
I halted completely in a big project I’m excited about launching soon, I stopped from a lot of business interaction despite making me nervous that i was going to lose touch with people.
.
I needed to get in touch with myself.
To be with myself for a while without constant pressure to do.
.
It was incredibly hard. I felt like a failure. I had to learn that wasn’t so.
It was so hard to accept this vulnerability, even though one of my core values is ‘strength in vulnerability ’.
.
As part of this pause I started taking the @coursera course #thescienceofwellbeing by #professorlauriesantos from @yale
Rewiring my brain for happiness.
It’s incredible.
One of my homework’s is to savour.
.
I will be posting (almost) daily series in my stories of my savouring the day-moments for at least a month.
.
Do you want to do the #savoringchallenge with me?
Just tag me and the hashtag and that way we can savour and appreciate the beauty in each others’ life.
.
This is my slow return to here and other projects.
Hello there, I’m back.

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This was a place where magic happened. A few months ago @with_care posted about a caterpillar project.
I signed up.
It took @littlezenone trip to Ikea for the habitat and @ajswartz driving over an hour to pick up the little ones from across the city.
.
While they were coming the kids gathered sticks and flowers from the backyard to welcome the little ones.
They were so tiny and cute and oh how they grew and the little balls were poop, and every morning I’d wake up and go check on the three Littles to see if they were still alive.
They grew and oh how did they change! They were giant!
And suddenly I thought one had died, but a few hours later, while no one was watching, a cocoon happened!
And so it was with the second and the third.
.
A week went by and then a bit more and suddenly there was a butterfly! I hadn’t seen it pop out but it was miraculous.
The second one struggled on the ground, it’s little feet and antennae wanting life but the body was just not strong enough.
The third one I saw right after it had emerged, there were specks of blood on the ground and I thought of birth. I was so shocked by this tiny dot of blood and yet so in awe of the resemblance to all births.
We fed them for two days and let them move on. .
The first flew away without looking back, without a nod or a thank you.
The second one I placed on a plant, it was still struggling to emerge and I knew it wouldn’t happen.
The third I also placed on a plant, it’s wings were askew and the transformation had stopped midway, with a hairy torso and wings. It was beautiful.
.
I was more excited than the kids to watch all of this.
I was so in awe of the minute transformation these little creatures went through.
.
Same way I am in awe of the transformation I see in every single one of my clients. Not to be cliched with the metamorphosis metaphor, but there is blood in your own metamorphosis, and scars, remains of blood and dried flowers. .
I have also undergone different metamorphoses by different moments of life, journeys.
.
What has transformed you and how was the other side of things?
.
#journeyoflife #metamorphosis #butterflystory #caterpillar

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#portraitofafather
Or at least this one.
Right after @ajswartz proposed (ten days after we met), we asked each other if we wanted kids, the answer was yes.
I don’t know if it is because we became parents in our mid thirties or because we wanted them consciously, not because it was “what comes next” in life, or perhaps it is because me and my kids are so damn lucky.
This man is a father, a constant , calm and nurturing presence in my life and in my dragon’s lives.
.
Do I sometimes wish I had him all to myself? Oh, absolutely!
Chaos reigns in our everyday, even if we somehow find time to pickle, knit, or date.
I am overwhelmed and exhausted, and I have no idea if I’d even be able to breathe if he wasn’t who he is.
He is overwhelmed and exhausted too, but he doesn’t say so, he just carries on.
.
I hate it when people ask me “does he help?” No, he doesn’t. He parents. He partners. He is here.
.
For his day I have no card nor present (no time to plan it)! But I did give him two hours alone in the house (with baby napping), so he could take a long hot shower, groom and simply breathe a little. (Isn’t that the present we all want?)
.
#happyfathersday my love
I wouldn’t be in this tornado with anyone else.
May we see each other on the other side of toddlerhood!
.
#familylifetoday #fatherhoodunfiltered #fatherhoodunplugged #felizdiadepadre

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