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Tag: fun

The history of my toys

Posted on February 7, 2020February 12, 2020

The history of my toys

Prologue Once upon a time, because all stories that talk about … Continue reading “The history of my toys”

Sexuality fun, self pleasure, sex toy, sexualityPosted on February 7, 2020February 12, 2020

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Isn’t it wonderful to have periods celebrated?

Isn’t it wonderful to have periods celebrated?
I was so embarrassed by my period when it finally came. I was the latest in my small class, I was also the youngest, but I felt there was something wrong because it wouldn’t come.
When it did I didn’t even recognize it because it looked different than why I had envisioned with the very little knowledge I had.
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The next 20 years were spent fighting it. Being annoyed by it. Feeling embarrassed by it. Feeing dirty when it came.
It wasn’t until I heard @theheavyflowpodcast by @amandalaird that a whole new world opened before my eyes.
My menstruation was a sign of health. It was also my sixth vital sign; I could know what was or wasn’t ok with my body according to my menstruation.
I started using a cup and period undies. I started to be proud of what my body can do.
Then @drlisawatsonnd explained to me what my particular periods meant and how I could heal my body by listening to my periods. It was magical.
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Here’s for a next generation of menstruating people feeling proud of their bodies and knowing, really having the knowledge of their own physiology. 🩸
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Color by @pantone @intimina #menstruationeducation #menstruationmatters #bodywonders #sexed #menstruationcup #menstruationnation #menstruatingpeople #menstruatingstories #periodstories

Today I asked for help. It’s not an easy thing f

Today I asked for help.
It’s not an easy thing for me to do so. I have been of the mind that I can do it all and more, all by myself.
If I couldn’t I wouldn’t be worthy. I wouldn’t be me. I would be a failure.
But I can’t.
I truly can’t.
No one can.
It’s so hard to say so.
.
I’ve been struggling with an aloneness I don’t even have the words to describe. In life, despite the wonderful partner and dragons I have. In life because I don’t feel any sense of community. In life because all of my family is a few borders away. In life because my words are shut down inside of me and are turning into a solid rock.
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I’ve been struggling with an aloneness at work because I do it all and I am tired. I also know I can help so many and haven’t had the energy to reach out and say, hey, I’m here, I want to help you, please come..
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I’ve been struggling with not even being able to plan a week ahead because there may or may not be another shutdown or who knows... perhaps more apocalypse is on the menu. Or sardines raining down from the sky. Or waking up to 56 rainbows all across the city. Anything goes.
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Today I asked for help and reached out to wonderful people to say hey, I’m here, I can help, I’m sure you know of people I can help, can you please connect us?
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It’s scary to ask a favor like that. It’s scary to say out in the world that you and your business need help.
And here we are.
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It’s been a long fucking pandemic with no end in sight.
.
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#strengthinvulnerability #askingforhelp #icanhelpletme #wecandohardthings #eroticexpert #sexcoach #sexcoaching #aloneandstruggle #strugglinginpandemic #pandemicblues

Today was a magical day. Today I did many difficul

Today was a magical day. Today I did many difficult things.
I learnt how to breathe because I have forgotten.
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Isn’t it incredible how we’ve forgotten to do the most basic things for our survival?
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My breath is shallow. It’s staggered. It is holding on to all the emotions I haven’t permitted myself in feeling. My breath knows.
I preach strength in vulnerability and yet I have continuous battles with myself, daily wars with the little patriarch that lives within me and tells me that to feel too much, to need help, to ask for help, to be broken and in need of healing, is weak.
I seek the strength in vulnerability.
I seek softness within myself.
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Today I did very hard things.
I left the little dragons all day and took myself and my love to learn how to breathe in a magical place filled with nature and beautiful humans.
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Today I did something really hard. I didn’t want to. My whole body said no even as I was doing it.
I put myself into this bathtub filled with ice water, and I breathed.
And it hurt. And I wanted to clench, but I let go, and I wanted to stand up, but I sat still.
And then, it was over, and I had done it. And after warming my body again, I went for a swim in this magical lake.
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And then I hugged my love.
And we hugged and watched the sunset and felt grateful for days like these, for growth and connection and the privilege to give ourselves the space to be. To be without children. To be without pandemia. To be. To breathe.
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I went to a workshop with the incredible @mayte_breathe_live , whom I only met a few days ago!
The stars aligned.
I met other fabulous humans I know will be in my life for a long time.
I am grateful for today.
(And grateful to @k_f1nn for introducing me to this sorceress is breath).
.
#wimhof #wimgofmethod #icebath #breathwork #breathworkshop #aprendiendoarespirar #givingmyselfspace #strengthinvulnerability #softnesswithin #eroticexpert #selfcare #workshopdate

Today was a good day. I worked out. Dragons slept

Today was a good day.
I worked out.
Dragons slept in.
My body feels healthy.
I ate delicious food.
I played a lot.
I flew a kite.
I kissed my husband in the kitchen.
I rolled down a hill.
I kissed little hands and feet.
I ate a tomato from my garden.
I am so enthused by two new projects.
I cannot stop thinking of ways I can help a person who recently reached out to me.
I am so grateful they did.
I am so awed by their courage to write to me, to say they need help, to ask if I can help.
I am so honored they think I can.
I know I can.
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There have been so many moments of doubt, in my life, in my career, in the world, in the last few months. I’m sure I’m not alone.
But when someone reaches out and says, hey, can we talk, can I work with you... it changes everything. It gives me a sense of purpose beyond my family, it gives me a sense of trust and appreciation because I know I am willing and able, but sometimes I forget how I can change the world little by little, person by person.
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Are you wondering if I can help you?
Send me a DM, let’s chat.(And I continue to love love love my short hair by @derek_hannah from @bobandpaigesalon )
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#purposeinlife #nofilterselife #nofilterneeded #beautyinmotherhood #beautyinamoment #clientappreciation #gratefulheart #gratefulnessishappiness #reachoutaskforhelp #strengthinvulnerability #newhairwhodis #sexualhealth #sexeducation #educacionsexual #eroticexpert #sexcoach #sexcoaching

This is me, thinking about Desire. What is it that

This is me, thinking about Desire.
What is it that we want, with our core, with our innermost self?
What we want has changed, of course, in the last few months.
I want to be able to fly, safely, to where my family is, so I can hug and we can argue and we can smell each other.
Im sure you can relate.But let’s talk desire, sexual desire.
It’s intrinsic. It is raw. It is an inherent part of who you are and how you describe yourself, even if you’ve never thought about it.
It is a hunger that cannot be satiated because it continues to transform.
It is a hunger that when satiated, fills you to the brim of your own existence.
It is the particle of life that emerges from your groin. It is the electricity that emerges from your thought.
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Tell me, what do you desire?
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#thinkingondesire #desirechange #transformationofself #selfloveselfdesire #selfdesire #eroticexpert #eroticselfjourney

Do you ever have days in which you feel absolutely

Do you ever have days in which you feel absolutely and completely out of sorts?
It’s all the emotions
It’s none of the emotions
You want to do. All
You can barely move beyond yourself.
Nothing fits to describe where you are. What you are.
And then.
And then.
It is.
It simply is.
Or it isn’t.
And you make dinner.
And hope.
That in a little bit.
It will be different.
Or not.
Or you will be.#pandemicponderings

This is me with the shortest hair I’ve ever clad

This is me with the shortest hair I’ve ever clad.
Somehow the shorter hair made it look darker.
Somehow the shorter hair is hidding the whites that emerged since March like weeds needing to nestle in the anxiousness of the unknown.
The shorter hair is somehow hiding the days I didn’t want to get out of bed, but did. It’s also hiding how much joy I have found in the tiniest miracles, like growing my own tomatoes, or having a swallowtail choose my carrots to chomp on.
The short hair will take getting used to, like the masks, and the uncertainty.
The short hair is really good at disguising the tears as well as the laughter that has erupted without concealment.
The shortest hair in my life is helping me see beauty in me and outside.
I’ve shed the skins that grew during the quarantine. I’m not sure if I’m in a cocoon or if I’ve emerged yet, I’m still working that one out.I love this short hair.
Thank you @derek_hannah for helping me look beautiful#parentingincovid #covidmama #newhairnewme #pandemicparenting #eroticself #thisisme #womanemerging #transformation #metamorphosisinpandemic

#challengeaccepted from @mneits and @sherigurock

#challengeaccepted from @mneits and @sherigurock
And no I couldn’t not find a pic of me by myself in my gazillion pictures... #womensupportingwomenYou’re next @amy.syed @houseandhookEdited to add these hashtags, as this challenger began as a call out against violence towards women in Turkey, which is on the rise. @accordingtoweeze @ckyourprivilege#istambulsözleşmesiyaşatır #istambulconvention

The Dada of Dragons The wiper of tutus The reader

The Dada of Dragons
The wiper of tutus
The reader of gazillion books
The sourdough master
The quarantine Other Adult
The Master Folder
My Love
The kindest human to rear and figure out how to raise three tiny dragons into kind and interesting big dragons
Happy Dada Day @ajswartz

today I harvested the first food I have ever grown

today I harvested the first food I have ever grown.
Today I also told my 4 year old that a man called George Floyd was killed by the people who supposedly protect us because of the color of his skin. I also told her it is our responsability to stop that from happening. .
Paraphrasing Dan Sacks from @noodleloafshow : plant good seeds.
Here are some resources that can help you plant good seeds:
@theconsciouskid
@diversereads

#happymothersday2020
It’s been a shitshow.
It’s my day of celebrating and yes, My incredible partner, who takes care of the dragons while I sleep in a bit (most mornings), did all he could to make me feel loved and special.
.
Here it comes.
The truth.
I feel like a failure.
I am failing at my kids for not “enjoying all this time I have with them”.
I am failing at my business because, truthfully, I have barely worked in the last two months.
I am failing at my body because there has never been this much bread in my house.
I am failing at my erotic because I am touched out.
I am utterly and profoundly disappointed With myself.
Oh no you’ll say, you’re doing such a great job in these circumstances. Be gentle, be kind.
Sure.
Some days.
Others I want to yell and scream and run away.
I joked that for Mother’s Daytoda I just wanted to stay in the car all day. By myself.
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It is hard to have reflections, to think of things, to ponder how I am, how this chaos that is life is evolving.
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THERE IS NO TIME.
There is no time for me.
If I carve out some to say, workout, or have therapy, I know my partner is having a very heavy load on his shoulders and Emotions. This is not to say I don’t do it, but it is a lot to ask for.
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My work, the way I work in helping clients develop their erotic sense of self is by spending time alone. You need alone time to reflect, to touch in your demons and needs, your desires and fears.
If there is constant noise and outside needs there is never space for us.
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That is, in a nutshell, what I am living. I constantly feel/ want/ implore to be living this differently (and sure, yesterday was better, tomorrow can be good too... these are waves of grief and joy and acceptance without any control).
I do what I shouldn’t and compare my perception of my story as opposed to others’ stories and I do not enjoy my narrative.
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But there’s no space for me.
Next time I wear a bowl for a helmet, chasing a wise little boy who says “yesterday is tomorrow, tomorrow will be yesterday and today is tomorrow” I’ll take a breath and try to recognize myself in laughter or despair and see that this too, is who I am, even if I have no time to look in the mirror.

My three dragons were born under the care and comp

My three dragons were born under the care and compassion of midwives. I wouldn’t have had it any other way, and thankfully, I didn’t need to.
Informed consent, trusting my body to do what it was meant to do, absolute compassion, knowledge and trust.
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My first birth was in NY and had my midwives not trusted, not had patience, the birth would have been very different. They never questioned my need for an epidural after 20 hours of back labour, and they trusted my body to do...
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My second labour lasted six days, and their care and company during those six days was invaluable.
I had a surprise water birth at @torontobirthcentre and it was beautiful and I was well taken care of, as was my dragon.
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My third dragon was 11 days late and when she came it was fast and furious and oh so furious.
I delivered on the floor of the birth center on hands and knees roaring like the primal being that I was.
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They also took care of my babies so I never left my home for check ups during the first few weeks. They came to see me and my babes, they are and always will be shiny auras of the hardest and most beautiful moments of my life.
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Thank you for knowing my body could do it. For allowing me to know it, for encouraging me to know it, for guiding me to discover that knowledge. .
#midwifery #ontariomidwives #ontariomidwivesoverdue #sevengenerationsmidwives @fordnationdougford #torontomidwiferycare #torontomidwives #@sgmt_midwives #sgmtmidwives

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