*Próximamente en español
You think you’ve got it down. A schedule, life, constant sleep, perhaps some glimpse of productivity.
And then she decides you need to know who’s boss. So she wakes up half hour after you fell asleep. You feel like you’ve slept for ages but your body is in absolute pain. You think maybe it’s too cold, maybe it’s too hot, maybe she’s still asleep and making noises. Maybe a diaper.
No such luck. She’s awake as awake can be. The amazing husband tries to deal. You fake sleep. It doesn’t work. Half hour has gone by. You go to the nursery. Husband zombies back to bed. You offer the boob because that’s all you can offer. She takes it but won’t sleep.
She does, finally. Two hours later she’s awake again. “You thought you we done with this newborn like exhaustion? Ha! You thought you had trained me to sleep? Ha ha! You thought you were the bosses of me? No! I am the all powerful all mighty tiny human! I am the present and the future, I am the decider of sleep and eat, I am it all. I am the Dragon you have brought into your lives and I am the center of it all! You shall not be comfortable in your routines for I shall break them. You shall not be comfortable in your productiveness, for I shall smite it.
I am the baby! Heed me! Worship me! I am the boss!!!”
And of course, she is.