Recently a client of mine asked me: how do you leave the world outside the bedroom..? How do you close off the door so that the sheer weight of life itself and all the to-do lists in the world don’t invade the intimate moment you are about to engage in (with yourself, or with a partner).
It is incredibly hard to do. You can read of my experience with trying Cannabis to do just that, leave the world outside and focus on myself and my partner, here.
But besides for the joyous medicinal plant that is Cannabis, what else can you do?
Well, here is a #tipsheet for those moments:
- Put a Date on it!
If you are a professional, a parent and everything else in between, schedule sex! Seriously. If you schedule it like you do everything else in life, doctor appointments, meetings, even laundry! Then why won’t you schedule this essential part of your life.
Now that you’ve scheduled it in, treat it as you do every other appointment and event in your life, respect the time and your presence there.
I know, I know, you miss the times sex was sudden and surprising and oh so delicious on the kitchen counter or floor… and I promise you, you’ll have that again, maybe tomorrow, or maybe in a few years, but in the mean time, don’t let that hinder your intimacy and schedule it!
- Do your to-do
I know it isn’t sexy to make a list of all the things you need to do, but if you don’t make it, then exactly when your partner is going down on you and you should have all the feels and the chills and the orgasms, you are thinking of all the things you need to get done. Or right when that vibrator you were craving to use is hitting the exact spot you needed, an item of worry pops up.
If you write them down you’ll have some piece of mind and you will also have some visual realization of what still needs to get done.
Also, don’t leave the list as a list, get on it and get stuff off it so you can enjoy the moment and be there, be truly there… which takes us to…
- Be & Breathe
Orgasm and pleasure are intrinsically connected to our minds. If you aren’t there, if your thoughts are elsewhere while stuff is happening, your body will not catch you up, really. You won’t suddenly feel a surge of pleasure that will make you return from that journey of thought that took you to that time in the fourth grade when you locked yourself in the bathroom, or that time in the office when you couldn’t find water.
So be there. When you feel like your mind is drifting to non consequential thoughts, let those go by and focus on the sensations your body is transmitting, how the tongues, vaginas, penises, fingers, hands, lips and vibrators are making your body feel differently than it usually does. Focus on that and return to the moment.
Hope this helps! Share and comment!